Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

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Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by PitNata » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:00 pm

Name: Raven Minospar
Class: Master of Dreams/Lucid Dreamer
Age: 27
Backstory: Himself Raven was a boy with extraordinary powers, as he was able to control his dreams, and sometimes make his dreams come true in real life.
His parents, mistakenly thought that he was having powers of a Wizard took him to Academy of the Magic, where all the Wizards learns magic, and sometimes develop new ones.

The Wizard Court, quickly accepted their request on teaching magic for Raven, and the teachers appreciated him, as he was able to ''learn & show'' the magics he knew.
Raven didn't like ''learning'' the magics, as he wasn't able to even cast them, and only the dreams helped him to gain such authority of his own teachers & classmates.
Yet, that was countinued, until one day, on the exam, he was ''poorly'' used his own Dreams to change the mind of his teacher.

Wizard Court, abused him for using ''forbidden powers'' and Raven was forced to leave the Academy.

Raven was happy about this, but worried, as he was afraid of that his parents would not welcome him, and it was false. Parents of his, after several years, when they left their son at the academy, one of the teachers gave them a book ''Wizards & Where do they come from?'' as present. They have read it, and saw no such powers in their son. His parents have tried to reason
with the Wizards, but to no avail.

Raven, now obsessed with the adventures have coming to him, he leaved his home in search of it. Being happy to use the powers of his to do good, he is helping people, and armies of the Light to lead to a better future... for everyone.

Stats:
HP:225 +5 per level
Dmg:18-30 +3 per level
Move Speed: Medium
Atk Speed: Medium
Armor: None
Respawn Time: 15s

Skills:
Cut the Dreams
Cost: 2p/2p/3p
Description: Raven uses his powers to steal the dreams of 1 enemy, dealing 20%/40%/66% True Damage based by their own total health.
Cooldown: 20/22/25s
Sp Note: Does not affect Miniboss/Boss. Cannot kill an enemy, if his own health is lower, either Raven selects an enemy with highest health, or bring
enemies health down to 1 HP if no enemies with higher health is present on range.

Dreamer's Army
Cost: 2p/2p/3p
Description: Raven summons 1/2/3 Phantoms, Which blocks enemies, with 100/150/250 HP and random equipment.
Cooldown: 25s
Lasts: 20s
Sp Note: Equipment is based on three items, Staff, Sword or Bow. it also changes summon position if a Phantom is having Staff or Bow equipment,
so they are summoned behind Raven. Dmg/Type & Atk Speed is different from three items, as how as towers does. May be affected with Tower Trees. Only one Mage/Archer Phantom can be in a group, others will be Warriors.

Mage Phantom
Dmg:30-50
Atk Speed: Slow
Armor: None
Sp Note: Can alter the mind of an enemy, making him fight beside you for 5s. Cannot control enemies, that have higher health than 1000 HP.

Archer Phantom
Dmg: 5-5
Atk Speed: High
Armor: None
Sp Note: Slows enemies (20%) for 2 seconds.

Warrior Phantom
Dmg: 8-15
Atk Speed: Slow
Armor: Medium
Sp Note: Can Evade attacks (35%)

No Lunatics
Cost: 1p/1p/2p
Description: Raven has an aura, which gives troops ability to cause sleep effect on every attack, with 5%/7%/10% chance of sleeping 1s/3s/5s
Sp Note: Does not affect Miniboss/Boss. Effect always applies.

Sleepmare
Cost: 1p/1p/1p
Description: Raven tears the waking world, which causes 1/2/3 small water waves which deals 70/120/150 damage to all who caught on.
Cooldown: 15s

Unstable World Hero Spell
Description: The Dream World with Waking World collides, causing breaking rules of a Waking World and constantly changing in-between Dream & Waking World,
Slowing down all enemies by 20%/30%/40%/50%, Units will be transformed into un-existent creatures (Tier 2), Foe's Abilities are halved in power (Tier 3)
Cooldown: 60s
Lasts: 5s/8s/10s
Sp Note: Slow & Halved Power of the Abilites not altering Miniboss/boss. The Battlefield will change colours to purple, Transform & Halved Ability will still apply, if the World is the Waking one. Units may turn into:

Arachnos
Half-Spider, Half-Human/Elf/Dwarf bodies 1.5x Health, Damage, Armor is set to Low, Poison Attack

Crizoloids
Crystal Body, 1.2x Health, x3 Damage, Armor is set to Medium, Zap Attack

Kloinis
Plazma Raptor bodies, 0.7x HP, 2x Damage, Armor is set to none, HP steals 40% of the damage inflicted upon foe's


Quotes:
Feel like the Breaker!
Go away from your role!
Want sign a sleep contract?
Look at your hands!
(Death)Ragewake!

Well that's all for my Raven hero. Opinions is appreciated. :D

EDITED: Added Stats for Phantoms, Balanced Cut The Dreams, Quotes changed.
EDITED 2: Hero Spell replaced with a new one, Dreamer's Army Cooldown & Duration reduced.
Last edited by PitNata on Mon Jan 09, 2017 7:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.
''What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!'' -Says Vez'nan before he turns you into nothingess.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by PitNata » Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:16 am

No one to write? I guess i made up a bad hero then.
''What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!'' -Says Vez'nan before he turns you into nothingess.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by ShaDowAn » Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:59 am

W-wow... awesome..
I go by Wintrytale or Wintry now.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by Minuet » Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:52 am

PitNata wrote:No one to write? I guess i made up a bad hero then.

Not everyone's going to see it within 4 hours, chill.

On the subject of the hero itself, Dreamer's Army is underpowered for the cooldown, depending on how much damage they deal (unlisted), the duration doesn't matter as much as they'll probably end up dying before it ends.

Cut the Dreams is cool, I like how the cooldown increases for a more powerful effect, and it's warranted as it's only really useful on stronger targets to begin with, which the cooldown won't matter too much on, with them appearing infrequently and all.

Does No Lunatics affect himself as well? It's either useless (if it doesn't affect him) or completely broken if paired with something like Bladesingers, as it's almost certain that they'll proc the sleep again before it ends with a 5 second duration and a 10% chance. It would be better if the chance was increased but the duration reduced. As it is it's just a weaker/stronger version of Catha's stun.

I don't understand how Sleepmare works, could it effectively deal 450 aoe true damage every 15 seconds, or is the damage divided between waves, or something else?

Blue Eruption is an incredibly bland ability, you could do so much more with the concept of sleep than just damage and a slow.

On the stats, what level is this written for? 225 is a very, very low amount, and does he do ranged damage? As it's written he both has less health and does less damage than Arivan. The damage doesn't make sense either as he'd end up doing negative damage at lower levels.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by tmn loveblue » Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:36 am

PitNata wrote:Name: Raven Minospar
Class: Master of Dreams/Lucid Dreamer
Age: 27
Backstory: Himself Raven was a boy with extraordinary powers, as he was able to control his dreams, and sometimes make his dreams come true in real life.
His parents, mistakenly thought that he was having powers of a Wizard took him to Academy of the Magic, where all the Wizards learns magic, and sometimes develop new ones.

The Wizard Court, quickly accepted their request on teaching magic for Raven, and the teachers appreciated him, as he was able to ''learn & show'' the magics he knew.
Raven didn't like ''learning'' the magics, as he wasn't able to even cast them, and only the dreams helped him to gain such authority of his own teachers & classmates.
Yet, that was countinued, until one day, on the exam, he was ''poorly'' used his own Dreams to change the mind of his teacher.

Wizard Court, abused him for using ''forbidden powers'' and Raven was forced to leave the Academy.

Raven was happy about this, but worried, as he was afraid of that his parents would not welcome him, and it was false. Parents of his, after several years, when they left their son at the academy, one of the teachers gave them a book ''Wizards & Where do they come from?'' as present. They have read it, and saw no such powers in their son. His parents have tried to reason with the Wizards, but to no avail.

Raven, now obsessed with the adventures have coming to him, he leaved his home in search of it. Being happy to use the powers of his to do good, he is helping people, and armies of the Light to lead to a better future... for everyone.


I would say that this is a well written lore, sufficient though being a bit bland, falling under the regular misunderstood-hero category, but distinguish itself with a creative choice for a power: lucid dreaming. On a scale of 10, I vote 7 for the story's quality.

Stats:
HP:225 +5 per level
Dmg:18-30 +3 per level
Move Speed: Medium
Atk Speed: Medium
Armor: None
Respawn Time: 15s


Raven is a true powerhouse at level 10, boasting 48-60 base damage at a fire rate I imagine to rival Vez'nan's, combine with higher and more consistent damage than even the Dark Lord himself :o This broke my expectation of him to be a skill-dependent magic caster, but it is alright. His other stats are fine, though his HP's growth per level is marginal. He should have less HP at level 1 and around the same, or slightly more HP, at level 10.

Skills:
Cut the Dreams
Cost: 2p/2p/3p
Description: Raven uses his powers to steal the dreams of 1 enemy, dealing 15%/33%/66% True Damage based by their own total health.
Cooldown: 10/20/25s
Sp Note: Does not affect Miniboss/Boss. Cannot kill an enemy, if his own health is lower, either Raven selects an enemy with highest health, or bring enemies health down to 1 HP if no enemies with higher health is present on range.


I do not like the increase in Cut the Dreams's cooldown. Skills should not have their cooldown increased with rank, because it would confuse the player when they upgrade the skill and expect the same cooldown. For a single target nuke like this skill, timing is especially important for Raven to use it on the right foe. I suggest change the cooldown to 22s or so, and buff it slightly at tier 1 and 2 to match the long cooldown. Otherwise, this skill is very creative and powerful as well.

Dreamer's Army
Cost: 2p/2p/3p
Description: Raven summons 1/2/3 Phantoms, which blocks enemies, with 100/150/250 HP and random equipment.
Cooldown: 50s
Lasts: 40s
Sp Note: Equipment is based on three items, Staff, Sword or Bow. it also changes summon position if a Phantom is having Staff or Bow equipment,
so they are summoned behind Raven. Dmg/Type & Atk Speed is different from three items, as how as towers does. May be affected with Tower Trees.


The armor and damage of the Phantoms, especially the armor of the Sword wielding one, need to be clarified. At 250 HP, they are very soft and will be torn to shreds within 10 seconds. With Raven being such a strong magic caster, the Phantoms need not do much damage, instead they have to serve the role of holding enemies at bay and defending Raven. It would be more atmospheric to me if they are all the same and possess some form of crowd control, like slow, to halt enemy progress as Raven unleashes his powers.

No Lunatics
Cost: 1p/1p/2p
Description: Raven has an aura, which gives troops ability to cause sleep effect on every attack, with 5%/7%/10% chance of sleeping 1s/3s/5s
Sp Note: Does not affect Miniboss/Boss. Effect always applies.


Decent skill, very useful due to Raven's usual position behind soldiers. This skill helps enhance the blockage and protect Raven.

Sleepmare
Cost: 1p/1p/1p
Description: Raven tears the waking world, which causes 1/2/3 small water waves which deals 70/120/150 damage to all who caught on.
Cooldown: 15s


How is water waves related to dreams :? I do not care. This skill is very very powerful. Check out Bonehart, he has one skill that deal 100 damage to enemies on a single lane, with a cooldown of 18 seconds, and that is often considered the strongest skill in KRF. Sleepmare deals 50% more damage, on 3 lanes, with a shorter cooldown. It would be devastating.

Blue Eruption (Hero Spell)
Cost: 3p/3p/3p
Description: Dream world with Waking world collides, causes an eruption, which slows enemies by 10%/20%/30%/35% and throws 2/3/4/6 rocks of brimstone dealing 1000/1500/2000/2500 Area Damage.
Cooldown: 50s
Lasts: 9s
Sp Note: Doesn't slow Miniboss/Boss.


This skill's power matches its cooldown, however it falls short of expectation on such an original concept. With something as unique as the collision of dream and reality, much better stuff could fit in and improve Raven's overall atmosphere ;) Try thinking harder :hero:

Quotes:
Sleeping with the Fishies!
Test everything with Dreams
All your dreams are my property
Have you seen IT?
(Death) It isn't real enough!

Fairly basic quotes, similar to what I can muster on my fanfic heroes. Fair enough. I am not a good quote maker - you should check out BBB, Zonoro and Sairi and Razor and some other's quotes, and background lore, they write these things really well.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by Big Bad Bug » Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:18 pm

Wow, I was going to give feedback, but there would be no use in rewriting TMN's and Minuet's posts. ;)

To add on to TMN's point about the hero spell, the words, "Dream world and waking world collide," amazed me with how cool that sounded. You may have accidentally raised the expectations for yourself with such a great description, but that's a beneficial thing if it means having an equally awesome power. You have this concept of dreaming, which seems to have been a trend lately, with Lazarus and Burden appearing in the Fanfic Hero vs Hero thread, but the idea of 2 worlds will gives youra a unique twist. I'm hyped now to read what changes you'll make. :mrgreen:
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by PitNata » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:00 pm

Edited some of the things, look at the first post.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by Big Bad Bug » Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:44 pm

I like the phantoms, but the mage is incredibly good compared to the other ones. I'll always want the mage over the archer. :lol: It's all because of his conversion ability, which is basically giving Raven another summon skill. ;) A cool idea would be to have a weaker version of that power, but only available if all 3 of the Phantoms are mages (that means that you'll have to change the rule about always having 2 warriors). Also, the point about them dying before the 40 second duration still stands. You'll have to make them more durable and respawn slower or change the duration and the cooldown to smaller numbers.
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Re: Raven - Lucid Dreamer Hero

by PitNata » Mon Jan 09, 2017 6:59 pm

Big Bad Bug wrote:I like the phantoms, but the mage is incredibly good compared to the other ones. I'll always want the mage over the archer. :lol: It's all because of his conversion ability, which is basically giving Raven another summon skill. ;) A cool idea would be to have a weaker version of that power, but only available if all 3 of the Phantoms are mages (that means that you'll have to change the rule about always having 2 warriors). Also, the point about them dying before the 40 second duration still stands. You'll have to make them more durable and respawn slower or change the duration and the cooldown to smaller numbers.


Very nice idea indeed, having 3 mages that can actually control an enemy (or 3 enemies) would be devastating. I'll keep that in mind. :hero:

Oh, i've also changed Hero Spell ability. You should check it out. ;)
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