Zonoro13 wrote:Hey benni! It's been a while.
As far as the story goes, Razor did a really good job pointing out most of the writing errors. Here's one more from chapter 1:
Most deadliest -> deadliest
I would try to make Rem more relatable. How can you make the reader identify with Rem's emotions? I can't imagine myself in that situation.
The important thing is, you made me want to keep reading, so good on you.
Hi Zonoro! It's really nice seeing you again!
I'm not actually trying to make Rem relatable. And his personality I have planned out for him will probably not help the readers identify (was going to use another word but forgot it) with him. Good news is I'm going to add another main character and add some depth to rem's backstory in the next chapter. Even though the new character is probably just as unrelatable as Rem.
Don't worry though there will be character arcs and development.
I'm going to go with what FeedDaKingdom said about most and -est/-er. Unless that's wrong.
Awesome stone golem made by FastAndBlast. (Thank you! 
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