RZRider wrote:Yeah. But he is dead.
Manijure wrote:As several of the burners lobbed fiery projectiles towards his position. A whistling sound pierced the air…
Ninja wrote:Manijure wrote:As several of the burners lobbed fiery projectiles towards his position. A whistling sound pierced the air…
A comma should be placed after the word "position", and obviously, the second sentence should be attached by it to the first.
This is another enjoyable sequence, Manijure. Thanks for the good read. I like the rapidity with which you progress through the events of the battle, all the while smoothly incorporating new characters into the story.
Big Bad Bug wrote:So much Gandalf. Do you want to make him a forum meme?
I like the details of the action. It's all very similar to an actual KR battle, but with some extra variations to make it seem a little cooler, such as Eridan kicking a boulder like the legend that he is. If you could include more moments where something extra special that wouldn't happen in-game occur in the story, I'd greatly appreciate it.
As for nitpicks (since there are no important, major problems I have) I wish there was more stuff about the other towers. We got detail on the Druid, which made me expect details on the archers, mages, barracks, and reinforcements as well. Maybe in the next level?
It's telling of how good this is when my only wishes for this story are for more content.
RZRider wrote:Why eridan!!! The BO is important. Don't forget!!!! Why does this always happen in books?
Big Bad Bug wrote:I like the subtle inclusion of Finwer in the story. Everyone just treats him like another Elf, another good guy.
The Kingmaker wrote:Big Bad Bug wrote:I like the subtle inclusion of Finwer in the story. Everyone just treats him like another Elf, another good guy.
That's really just who Finwer is on this forum, he just turns up and comments and everyone agrees and misses him.
He's like Jack Black in that he doesn't need any context. Like I could be abducted by Aliens and if Jack Black was there eating Pringles I'd just accept it.
Manijure wrote:RZRider wrote:Why eridan!!! The BO is important. Don't forget!!!! Why does this always happen in books?
I have no idea what you are referring to.
RZRider wrote:Manijure wrote:RZRider wrote:Why eridan!!! The BO is important. Don't forget!!!! Why does this always happen in books?
I have no idea what you are referring to.
The stuff coming from that one gnoll. The one that he described as body odor. Aka bo